“We knew it was coming, but it was still a shock, and hard to believe”.

That was a sentiment I heard quite a bit in the days after the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

Then in the fortnight after that I had several similar losses amongst the circles of my family and friends. So in my next week’s diary are three funeral services in two days. I am leading one of them and will be able to attend one of the others. All of them are for people in their late 80s or 90s who were still lively despite their physicality declining. “We knew it was coming, but it was still a shock, and hard to believe”.

So, I got to reflecting again about life and loss.

For most of my life I have tended to think about death and other losses as being intrusive. They break into my life, often unexpected, usually unsettling, sometimes quite discombobulating. Sometimes I have noticed that they led to some positives for me, in terms of personal growth, humility, gratitude, reorienting and reprioritising. But I still tend to think of death and other losses like a shadow. I know this shadow is hanging around, but occasionally will morph into something more than a shadow and impose its darkness on me.

This time around I am trying to think a little differently about death and loss, in a way prompted by a helpful conversation. This other person reminded me that death and loss are not add-ons to life that occasionally push their way in and take over, forcing us to cope as best way we can, till the pain subsides.

Death and other losses are integral to life. Even as we are being creative and growing in all sorts of ways, we are still having little losses. Our losses and deaths provide room and ingredients for new life and growth. Life prepares us for death. The prospect of death helps us to deeply value life in ourselves and others.

So my challenge is to let life and God teach me about death and loss, about how to live with death and loss, now and into the future. My tiny seed of faith in the eternal loving God helps me to contemplate the place of death and other loss.. It allows me to recognize that the learning, growth and renewal from loss are central and essential to life, not just an occasionally shocking intrusion.

May God bless you with life, love and joy that overflows from you to others.